Update | Dec. 19th

Posted on 19. Dec, 2011 by in Journal

Hey everyone, I know I am way overdue for an update, so here it is…… I am doing a little better each day!! There are certain symptoms that I haven’t seen in quite awhile and then there are symptoms that I am still battling. Over all though, there are great improvements and more room to stay optimistic. I have to keep myself from overdoing it since that is very easy right now since I just want to do everything and I still can’t. I am able to move around well and even run some errands. I pay for my actions the next day seeing that I often feel like I got hit by a truck.

I am getting excited for the holidays, yet I pray things were different for me and my family. I am getting pretty nervous for my son to start his treatment. The Dr.s will be putting in a pic line next week so that he can start IV antibiotics. I just ordered all his meds online which are continuing to increase, he is pretty much starting all the meds that I had too, and nothing is covered by insurance. I paid $150 for 2 meds that will only last a month for him. I have been having to go without some of my meds, but we will not let that happen with Treshon. He is too important to me and I never want to see him suffer like I had too. We will remain hopeful and optimistic that Tre will not get too sick and that he will only improve, but the truth to the matter is that may not happen.

Every night I almost cry myself to sleep thinking about how awful this disease is and how it has completely turned my life upside down. I hate it and I yell and scream at the top of my lungs when no one is home how much I hate it. I am still trying to figure out everything, but every day I ask God Why?? I know that I had to slow down in life and learn to treasure every moment but, damn, this is how He had to teach me?? I will continue to seek out God and hopefully one day I will know why, I think I have a pretty good idea, “I must pave the way for the next person so that maybe they don’t have to suffer like me and my family has.” I must have a voice amidst the pain, suffering, and political debates that continue to plague the disease. I will not stay quiet. I will beat this disease. I will be there for Tre every step of the way.

Sorry if the update is all over the place. I am crying and having a lot of pain. I love you all and please keep my family in your thoughts and prayers.

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